i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
