is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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