She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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