And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
