We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
