don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
