where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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