his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
