Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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