I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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