coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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