Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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