who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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