just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Come on in and take your pants off
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