I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
