ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
