I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
