so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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