she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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