yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
