I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
