Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
