the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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