Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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