I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
