You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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