Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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