Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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