We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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