I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
