You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
