she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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