He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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