Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
