Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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