is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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