respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He better not be in your backpack
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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