Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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