.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
