grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
