I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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