Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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