The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
