i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
