in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
