I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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