the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
