Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
