So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
