We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
