I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
